How Feng Shui Views Failure and Success
by Moni Castaneda
When people feel like failures, it means that they have lost touch with their nature as connectors of heaven and earth.
Society today is designed to make you feel like a failure. Fashion magazines offer you pages with recipes for succulent desserts alongside the new fancy workout that is going to make your thighs magically reduce. A few pages later you see pictures of photoshopped models that set a standard that can't even be meet by the models themselves, who look very different in real life. Car commercials offer you an image of what success is supposed to look like for a guy -- this image highlights material values, as if they were the most important measure of a person's success. To top it off, home and garden shows present to you "dream homes" that can only be maintained with hired staff.
When I was very young and had not yet found Feng Shui, I often felt like a failure whenever a well laid out plan did not yield the results I had expected. I would let my chest swell with hope and excitement as I worked on a project, and then I would let myself plummet emotionally when reality did not meet my expectations. Feng Shui gave me a new perspective about my own life, and in the practice of this profession I assist clients in realizing their true worth and making accurate assessments about their lives.
As I planned to write this newsletter a case history came to mind. A client erroneously perceived her life to be a failure because, at 32, she had not been able to secure a steady love relationship. My client had been engaged once, to a boyfriend of several years, but the engagement was broken by him, very close to the wedding. She felt that she had failed -- either failed in keeping him interested or failed in choosing a man, and even failed to see that he would not marry her during the seven years they had been together.
When I asked her to answer the Feng Shui for Us™ professional questionnaire that all our consultants use, she made some realizations about her life. She noted, for example, that she was more successful in her career than her peers at work, and that she enjoyed her chosen career more than most people she knew. Her health was very good, even though she struggled with some extra pounds. Her relations to her family of origin and her sisters' children were very respectful and brought her a great sense of support, as well as being a great source of joy. Her social life was full of excitement. She was very artistic, and had joined a knitting club that met once a week, which allowed her to express her creativity. The blessings were many.
As we worked together, she made the shift from thinking that her life was a failure because one or two aspects about it didn't match her expectations to realizing that she had a very successful life, with only one or two issues to resolve. The main issue was that she believed that to feel fulfilled she needed to have a romantic partner by her side. My goal when working with clients who are seeking a mate, is not to secure them a partner – that would be magic and I do not practice magic – but that they deepen their own self knowledge so that their potential choice of romantic partners becomes more aligned with who they are, they type of person who will love and respect them, and who they can love for the long term.
A Balanced Life
Imagine your life is a round table with eight legs. Having eight supports for the table board makes it very steady. If one leg is missing or wobbly, it doesn't affect the balance of the whole. In order for there to be a lack of balance there would have to be a few legs out of order or missing. However, many people imagine their lives as if they were tables with only one wobbly leg in the middle, so that it takes very little to throw them off balance. These are people who focus their sense of self worth on only one aspect of their lives, be it career, wealth, or looks.
I knew a man who based most of his sense of self worth on his professional success. When he talked about his job, he liked to use words like HUGE, LARGE, ENORMOUS, to describe the company that he worked for. His chest would swell and his eyebrows would arch as he made these statements. He had a lot going for him besides his job, but he didn't seem to realize it. He was very handsome, compassionate, and supportive of his loved ones.
When this man was fired from his job, his measure of his own success "took a dive." Because he didn't have any awareness of all that made him a wonderful person aside of his important job and income, he behaved poorly towards the people around him. In his mind, if these people still liked him and wanted to be around him now that he "had become a failure" then there must be something wrong with them. The negative attitude he adopted towards himself made it difficult for him to find a new job, until finally he gave up and decided to change careers. In a way, getting fired from his job was one of the best things that happened to him, because it forced him to take a look at his life and eventually reach a real sense of balance, by focusing on all areas of life instead of just one (career).
How About Yourself?
Near the bottom of this page you will find a link to download a Life Areas Test. Download it, print it out and take the test. Make the drawing on the life areas wheel that comes with the test, based on your results. If you wish, take a picture of your wheel and send it to me. In the next issue we will talk about how to make sure that the wheel of your life runs smoothly and not bumpy. A bumpy wheel of life is what gives you the erroneous idea that you are a failure or that your life is a failure. Read the next article.
We are launching the New Year with a brand New Book that you can use to Feng Shui Your Own Life Areas, Room by Room. This book is in fact an expanded Feng Shui Bagua Map. Use code 5GZEBQB2 to save 20 percent when you purchase from our e-store at CreateSpace (the discount code does not work at Amazon.com)
P.S. Remember, the advice in this newsletter, website, books, videos, social media, etc. is not meant as, or to replace, medical or psychological treatment of any kind, nor to discourage you from getting such treatments.
Feng Shui Your Own Life Areas, Room by Room ($36) Use code 5GZEBQB2 to save 20 percent when you purchase from our e-store at CreateSpace (the discount code does not work at Amazon.com)
Feng Shui Cures for the Life Areas
I have previously read many books about feng shui but I was always confused about doing it as a profession because of the conflicting information out there. Moni brings a fresh perspective that is both holistic and healing and she teaches it from a love paradigm which is absolutely awesome!
Tatia Biddle, Milwaukee, WI